Mr. Wow Blog
Mr. Wow in the Alternnate Universe of “Alternative Facts.”
3:45 pm | January 22, 2017

Author: Mr. Wow | Category: Point of View | Comments: 52

Friends…

 

Being a writer (of highly dubious sorts, as you all know) it is always an agony to realize one has made an error, allowed a typo to go through, misspelled a name, forgot to cite WHEN or WHERE something has or will be occurring. I’ve been told on several occasions that my own errors are “dyslexic.” I like that because it is so much nicer than the truth–stupidity.

However, this morning all my suffering on this matter evaporated. Because, I don’t make errors. I am presenting “alternative facts.”

I have to give a big shout out to Kelleyanne Conway, who tried to explain it all to Chuck Todd on Meet The Press, but as the lovely Kellyanne noted, Chuck was just getting “too dramatic.” She and the guy at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave might have to re-think their relationship with him–and the press in general, if he continued to carry on about, well, factual facts.

Some people might have thought Conway was being condescending and threatening to Mr. Todd.  But she was just a little frustrated—this entire alternative facts thing is  new (about 48 hours new).  And difficult to explain.  Conway furrowed her brow quite a bit, trying awfully hard to make the dramatic Mr. Todd stick to the facts—the alternative facts. She always looks so tired.  Well, long nights are mandatory when the Reich is new. 

I only speak for myself, but I am deeply relieved to find out about alternative facts. It’s like discovering an alternate universe. Just like it, actually. Sundays are usually a drag. I’m edgy over starting up the work week again. Not today. I am joyfully unbound and relaxed by the guidance of Kellyanne.  (I know she won’t mind me referring to her by her first name–we’re simpattico. And if you think I didn’t spell that correctly; big mistake, I DID. It’s all alternative. Get it?)

By the way, Hillary Clinton is the president. Not a lie, an alternative fact.

Talk to Kellyanne about it. She’s sure to agree, yes?

 

 

Comments:
  • Mimi

    what a wonderful idea! Alternative Facts!!!! I’m so excited to FINALLY have an idea about this. Alternative facts can be anything! For instance, I’m once again the 18 year old in my mind.  Cute, tall, thin, blonde hair to my waist. Rather than the 68 year old gray haired woman in the mirror. I can behave like that 18 year old again. What a wonderful idea. Regular people will think I’m dotty, but I don’t care. 

    3:54 pm | January 22, 2017
    • Mr. Wow
      Mr. Wow
      Mimi– I have decided on 28.  That was a good year for me.  It’s not even that I’ve decided–it’s a fact. An alternative fact. 

      xxxmrw
      4:09 pm | January 22, 2017
      • TheRudedog

        I’m 9, fishing for bullheads on the Platte with my Grandpa and cousin, breathing in all the love and happiness that every little kid could ever deserve and already celebrating knowledge that the (still non-existent) Broncos will win every Super Bowl Game in the history of forever.  Thanks, Kellyanne, you overly-trampled tramp, you under-moisturized, follicle-fried, sewer-rat Barbie!  And thanks, also, to your pal, Sean Spicer, who is the Hubba-Hubba Sexiest Man Alive we never knew we needed.  Period!  (And his suits fit like a dream.)

        7:11 pm | January 22, 2017
        • Mr. Wow
          Mr. Wow
          Oh, Rude!  If only I could use your description of Conway in the column. 

          And I sure did notice that Spicer can’t get his tie right, or the fit of his suit. (And if I, one of the most casual and unfashionable dressers notices…)
          7:24 pm | January 22, 2017
          • TheRudedog

            I get it but, what I DON’T get is the inevitable explosion of their heads when faced with their own contemptible actions.  
            (As an aside here, I think KAC, Spicer et al, missed what could easily have been the opportunity of their careers today:  During all of their appearances, when asked about the Marches yesterday, rather than shouting down the interviewer, all they had to do would have been to say, “Well, you realize that the person who made all these marches and demonstrations possible was our new President.  Without his election as President, without his approval and generosity in allowing these to occur, he’s shown what a powerful force he is for unity in this great country of his.  I mean mine.  I mean ours.  You people should be thanking President Trump for the opportunity he afforded you yesterday, not excoriating him for the scum he is.”  I think it was an opportunity custom-made for them and they’re too damn dumb to take advantage of it.  Or I could be wrong; maybe they DO have one teeny iota of decency left…but I really think it just never occurred to anyone.

            7:52 pm | January 22, 2017
          • Deirdre Cerasa

            Not an ounce of decency in any of them from “it” on down. 

            8:48 pm | January 22, 2017
          • Deirdre Cerasa

            Hahaha! I am so busy feeling nauseated by every word out of his alternative fact mouth I have not noticed  his attire. Ewwwwww!

            8:46 pm | January 22, 2017
        • Deirdre Cerasa

          WOW!! xoxoxo

          8:43 pm | January 22, 2017
  • Claudia

    Thanks, Mr. Wow! This is just what I needed today, as my dog Rufus and I cower in a closet, hiding from a tornado. Actual fact, not alternative. I look forward to your posts. Claudia

    4:02 pm | January 22, 2017
    • Mr. Wow
      Mr. Wow

      Dear Claudia–I don’t usually say this, but–stay in the closet!   You and Rufus be safe.  My concern is a real fact.  Just let Kellyanne try to fuck with it.

      4:11 pm | January 22, 2017
    • Deirdre Cerasa

      Hope you are okay. We are in a watch area in Seminole County. No closet needed yet but it is ready. xo

      4:52 pm | January 22, 2017
  • Deirdre Cerasa

    must be such a lovely place to live. 

    4:50 pm | January 22, 2017
    • Mr. Wow
      Mr. Wow
      Deidre–such a lovely place to live– an alternative universe/state-of-mind?  It is.  I’m loving my 28-year-old self again. 

      xxxmrw
      6:18 pm | January 22, 2017
      • Deirdre Cerasa

        It does sound good. Guess I’ll give it a try. 

        8:36 pm | January 22, 2017
  • Mimi

    Nope, 18 was a good year. Hadn’t married the abusive ex yet. One mistake not made. Had a cute little car. Loved my cute little car. 

    6:56 pm | January 22, 2017
    • Deirdre Cerasa

      Ouch! I am sorry you had to deal with an abuser. I was dating my husband a bopping around in a creamy white Austin-Healey 3000. Lucky us, 47 years, 3 children and 8 grandchildren we still have fun together. 

      8:41 pm | January 22, 2017
  • rick gould

    Love reading everyone’s “alternative facts!” Not sure what mine would be, but it would in a world where I didn’t have to look at Donald Chump every day!
    Speaking of alternative facts, glad to see the Liz Smith/Denis write up about People’s chat with Tim Mendelson, setting the record straight on what really happened with Elizabeth Taylor when she stayed in NYC the week of 9/11. Silly me, I think the real facts are far more interesting!
    Cheers to your forever 20-something self, Mr. W!
    Rick

    5:29 am | January 23, 2017
    • Mr. Wow
      Mr. Wow
      Thanks, Rick–and your “Face in the Crowd” review/reassessment came in quite handy–stay tuned. 
      Everybody–Rick’s movie blog is terrific,  “Rick’s Real/Reel Life.”  
      11:05 am | January 23, 2017
      • rick gould

        Thanks, Mr. W!Thought about making my next post on “The Manchurian Candidate” but I’ll save that!The next one I’m working on is “Kings Row,” which amazingly, I’ve never seen… Their is a political connection, Ronald Reagan! But it’s wonderful Ann Sheridan who makes the movie.Cheers to all you REAL people! Rick
        Here’s my blog link: http://ricksrealreel.blogspot.com/

        11:50 am | January 23, 2017
        • BabySnooks

          Love the blog. It’s nice to have real reviews again! 

          2:36 pm | January 26, 2017
        • Deirdre Cerasa

          I am with the rest of the group, the blog I’d fabulous! Is there a way to subscribe? I didn’t see a place to do that whe I was reading. 

          9:15 pm | January 26, 2017
  • arcadiayarddog
    Jean

    I really don’t know why everyone goes into a tizzy every time he makes some outrageous remark – within 24 hours he flips 180º and 24 hours after that, he’s moved on to the next thing I’m getting seasick. I can’t imagine how Miss Kelly feels cleaning up all the vomit left in his wake.

    9:01 am | January 23, 2017
  • Delusional

    I am a little surprised at your reactions to the Liz, Mike, Marlon story. What happened to artistic license? The idea is of it is hysterial, perhaps more to British humour than ours. What is truth to an artist? What frightens is that people can squash ideas and projects because of personal discomfort. How many fictions of the Kennedy’s exists? But who cares?

    11:31 am | January 23, 2017
    • Mr. Wow
      Mr. Wow
      Dear Delusional–

      As much as I agree, and have written, about the misguided policies of political correctness run amok, I take this one personally, as I knew one of the participants reasonably well.  Nobody was put out of work, and the thing is surely available online somewhere, or will be shown on Netflix.  I think “what is truth to an artist” hardly applies here.  Although I’d love to hear Channing, Fiennes and Cox expound on that.  Maybe I’d change my mind.   Not likely, but maybe. 

      Ava Gardner once said, reflecting on the rumors that surrounded her: “Oh, honey. People believe what they want to believe, and we can’t fight it.”   So, lots of people will believe that 9/11 tale.  Just as they believe Marilyn was murdered.  In the “end”–as in, is it important compared to what the fuck is happening in the word?–it doesn’t matter a bit.  It mattered to me.  And in the end, me is all I got. 
      2:35 pm | January 23, 2017
  • Mr. Wow
    Mr. Wow
    Who would have thought that John and Yoko’s 1972 song, “Woman is the Nigger of the World” would still resonate so horribly in 2017?  


    WASHINGTON ― In one of his first acts as president, Donald Trump has reinstated a federal ban on U.S. funding for international health organizations that counsel women on family planning options that include abortion. 

    The Mexico City policy, also known as the global gag rule, was first put in place by President Ronald Reagan in 1984. It prohibits giving U.S. funding to nongovernmental organizations that offer or advise on a wide range of family planning and reproductive health options if they include abortion ― even if U.S. dollars are not specifically used for abortion-related services. 

    Since then, the gag rule has been something of a political football, rescinded and reinstated as soon as presidents take office. President Bill Clinton did away with the rule, President George W. Bush reinstated it and then President Barack Obama again revoked it in 2009. 

    Trump’s executive order Monday comes one day after the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 Supreme Court case that guaranteed a woman’s right to have an abortion, and in the week of the annual March for Life in Washington, D.C. It’s also two days after millions of people turned out to protest Trump and many of his policies in women’s marches. 

    3:31 pm | January 23, 2017
    • Deirdre Cerasa

      This makes me sick to my stomach. 

      5:03 pm | January 23, 2017
  • Mr. Wow
    Mr. Wow
    Traditionally, in White House briefings,  the Press Secretary generally takes the first question from the non-partisan AP.  Today, Shawn Spicer took his first two questions from The New York Post and Christian Broadcasting.
    But what, me worry? 

    3:54 pm | January 23, 2017
  • lulu

    In my alternative life I am sixteen riding a horse on the ranch outside of Grand Lake, Colorado. Got my driver’s license, have cute boyfriend, no stress, not old enough to vote yet so no pressure about who is running for office. I am beginning to love this idea!!!Although I did face reality for a few brief moments this afternoon and signed up on three sites to volunteer and two other site to follow factual reporting and the facts. Think I’ll stay my real age long enough to have a cocktail then become sixteen again.

    8:22 pm | January 23, 2017
    • TheRudedog

      Up through Grand Lake was always our favorite way to get to Estes, although getting into and out of Estes Park in the 20-teens is almost impossible…not like in the ’60s!

      9:14 pm | January 23, 2017
    • Deirdre Cerasa

      Good work! I have added to some of the things I already do. An extra hour here and there. If  we al do a little we can accomplish a lot. Factual news sites are a must. I use snopes.com to check out some of the questionable stuff.

      11:56 pm | January 23, 2017
  • Rho

    Good morning. Have not been around, computer problems. Glad to see this is going on.

    9:29 am | January 24, 2017
    • Mr. Wow
      Mr. Wow
      “computer problems” Rho–or is the alternative fact that you just didn’t feel like visiting us?

      xxxxmrW
      1:24 pm | January 24, 2017
      • Deirdre Cerasa

        Welcome back Rho!

        4:20 pm | January 24, 2017
      • Rho

        I would never leave you.  It is definitely the computer.  Have to get a new one.

        10:13 am | January 25, 2017
  • rick gould

    Hey Mr. W– Been sicker than a dog with this bronchitis that’s been floating around Upper MI. Finally, went to walk-in clinic after being sick off and on since New Year’s Eve day.
    All dosed up this morning, I click on Ms. Liz/Denis’ column and I see my blog being bandied about–well, that was definitely some nice medicine!
    Cheers and thanks! Rick
    P.S., I thought of the perfect person to play KellyAnne Conway in the Lifetime movie of her life and career: a blonde Lindsay Lohan in Alternate Truth: The KellyAnne Conway Story. With Alec Baldwin of course as Chump : )

    1:10 pm | January 24, 2017
    • Mr. Wow
      Mr. Wow
      Hmmmm….I wish I was all dosed up this morning.  Feel better! 

      No, not Lindsay. She’d still have to travel a few more rough roads to look as haggard as Kellyanne.  

      Plop a blonde wig on the Crypt Keeper and you’ve got Conway.

      P.S.  She’s asking for Secret Service protection because somebody sent her an envelope with “strange powder.”   Silly bitch thinks it’s anthrax.  It was just a well-intentioned person trying to slip her some Bare Minerals Foundation.  The spackle she’s currently using doesn’t hide a thing.  Not that she can ever conceal the place where her “heart ought to be” as Bette said in “All About Eve.”
      1:34 pm | January 24, 2017
  • Rho

    No email today. Just thought I should tell you, Mary Tyler Moore has passed away.  I feel so bad.  May she rest in peace.

    3:06 pm | January 25, 2017
    • Mr. Wow
      Mr. Wow

      I feel awful.  Her health had been declining for years–many years.  But, it closes another door on one’s remembered life.  I recall, as a kid, reading about her scandalous Capri pants, when she was on “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and then, later, watching Mary Richards evolve.  Hell, I loved her in “Thoroughly Modern Millie.”  More upset than I thought I’d be.

      10:47 pm | January 25, 2017
      • Deirdre Cerasa

        Even knowing that she had been ill for a long time, the announcement was a shock.  Glad we have her work to watch forever. May she be at peace.

        11:53 pm | January 25, 2017
      • rick gould

        Hi everyone,
        MTM was such a part of American pop culture. Mary was a bit like Lucy–it wasn’t hard to find one of her various shows and enjoy them all over again.
        Just watched Ordinary People recently, for the first time since it’s release. The movie feels a bit like a time capsule, in this no-filter era, but the acting is top notch–especially Mary’s chilling performance as the mother.
        Cheers on a sad day,
        Rick

        7:08 am | January 26, 2017
      • Rho

        No more emails, Mr. Wow??  I just emailed you.

        3:12 pm | January 26, 2017
        • Mr. Wow
          Mr. Wow
          honey–I’ve had email issues for several days.  They keep bouncing back.  Some of them eventually reach their intended, other don’t.

          xxmrw
          9:01 pm | January 26, 2017
          • Rho

            Got yesterday’s this morning.

            10:07 am | January 27, 2017
  • BabySnooks

    Alternative truth is for people who live in an alternative reality. Which 46% of the people who voted in November do.  Rick Perry won in a “winner take all” contest in 2006.  He won with 39% of the vote. I always referred to him as Governor 39%. I will refer to Trump as President 46%. If for no other reason than I refuse to refer to him as President Trump. As for Kellyanne Conway, well, he said he was going to drain the swamp but he meant dredge the swamp. Which is where his cabinet nominees came from. And as for Kellyanne, well, he started dredging the swamp early on.   I just roll my eyes around in my head as it spins round and round every time I pull up a news site. The headline is always his latest temper tantrum on Twitter. 

    2:44 pm | January 26, 2017
    • BabySnooks

      We need to get rid of “winner take all.” Particularly with regard to the electoral college.

      2:45 pm | January 26, 2017
      • Deirdre Cerasa

        It is certainly worth looking into the pros and cons of repeal. 

        9:13 pm | January 26, 2017
  • rick gould

    Here’s my latest blog post, on Kings Row. Starring Ronald Reagan, who paved the way for religious right and alternate truthers who currently run Washington! Rick
    http://ricksrealreel.blogspot.com/2017/01/kings-row-is-much-more-than-reagans.html

    8:39 am | January 29, 2017
  • rick gould

    Or just cut and paste it, I don’t have much luck with the link tool here… http://ricksrealreel.blogspot.com/2017/01/kings-row-is-much-more-than-reagans.html

    8:40 am | January 29, 2017
    • BabySnooks

      What do we call you? The Retro Reviewer? Love the reviews of the old films. The only ones I really love to watch. As for Reagan, he was always a “B List” actor. Even in Washington. 

      12:57 am | January 30, 2017
      • rick gould

        Baby, Ha! I’m not crazy about the title of my blog but I had to call it something to get it going. Maybe Rick the Retro Reviewer? : )
        I am an old movie fan and was surprised that I never saw Kings Row. Enjoyed much of it, but quickly found out that this was Reagan’s “best” performance is a half truth in the best Ronnie tradition!

        Cheers, Rick

        7:27 am | January 30, 2017
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