Mr. Wow Blog
Cemeteries Dying Out: Mr. wOw’s Plan B
3:00 am | October 26, 2009

Author: Mr. Wow | Category: Culture | Comments: None

I saw the story in USA Today on cemeteries dying out. There’s just no room on any lawn anymore. And it’s so pricey. Mr. wOw, who hates a confined space, has never quite understood the appeal of burial, if appeal is the proper word, and I know it’s not. Burials date back to the Paleolithic era, so yes, we’re used to it. Still, why take up space on this crowded planet — didn’t you get in the way enough when you were alive? And why the headstone? Unless you are Elvis or Marilyn or Michael Jackson, nobody’s gonna care if you were ever here or not. (Or an Egyptian. I have to say, the pyramids are a great way to go.)

Live on in the hearts and minds of your loved ones. Keep the ashes if you must, but cremation really is the best way, especially in these environmentally challenged times. And it is cheaper. Don’t tell me that doesn’t matter.

Oh, and what you’re thinking right now is correct. Mr. wOw, that selfish, heartless beast, has no family to consider, so of course he’s all for a bonfire and a future as fertilizer.

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